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Journal 2014: February

The Forceful will take hold of the Kingdom of God

The Forceful will take hold of the kingdom

Rejoice in my weaknesses

In Birth-pains until... but Satan knows his time is short

 

The Forceful will take hold of the Kingdom of God

Posted on 30 March 2014 by "the witness"

“She was pregnant and she cried out in her birth pangs, in the anguish of her delivery.”

(Rev 12:2 Ampl)

The Forceful will take hold of the kingdom

On Feb 10, 2014 I had a strange dream. In my dream I saw a blue pit bull terrier. When I saw him I recognised the well known colour of the emblem of the rugby the team of our province – The Blue bulls. This bull terrier kept following me. Every time I tried to escape this terrible looking blue bull terrier. Every time I thought I had escaped this tenacious bull terrier with large and sharp teeth I found that he had caught up with me. I was not able to get away from it.

The will of God had been pursuing me and now started catching up with me. The Lord Yahshua said: 12 And from the days of John the Baptist until the present time, the kingdom of heaven has endured violent assault, and violent men seize it by force [as a precious prize--a share in the heavenly kingdom is sought with most ardent zeal and intense exertion]. (Matt 11:12 Ampl)

The pit bull terrier is known for its powerful grip and its unstoppable tenaciousness. The blue bulls, is a professional rugby team, which play rugby for a life and is also the local team of the area in which I stay. I am not following my rugby team with the same zeal I used to since I have a new Lord and God, but believe that the Holy Spirit is saying God's will for my life is following hard after me. Even though I consistently keep missing the mark, God keep coming for me to save me and bring me back into His will for my life. It is not I who searches for God, but God who love me so much who does not give up on me, for John says: 18 There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love's complete perfection]. 19 We love Him, because He first loved us. (1John 4:18 Ampl)

Sometimes we think that we are waiting for God, but in actual face it is God who is waiting for us and working for the good in all things for those who love Him. God knows what trials and tribulations we would be going through; or rather what it would take to get us to the point of maturity in Christ. When we are not just casually searching for the truth, but search with adherent zeal for God and desire to change, we will find Him. God foreknew, what would be needed and how much time it would take to achieve His goal in our lives. The goal is to become like the Anointed One – Yahshua our Messiah.

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Rejoice in my weaknesses

On the Feb 27, 2014 I had short dream. In my dream I wanted to get to a class room on the 3 rd story of a secondary school. I decided to walk another route around the school on the outside, not following the normal route, to go up the stair on the side of the building, which would bring me directly to the classroom, which was on the other side of the hallway. As I came around the bend, I could see a small foot path and the steps that were going up towards the stairs, which would take me to the 3 rd story of the high school, on the other side of something, which looked like a rock garden. I first had to go down into a dip and then up the hill, and then I came in front of this rock garden, which was made out of crusher stones, which were carefully cemented into the rock face. The rock face also had steps, which was large and could only be reached unless you had climbed up against the rock face, which consisted out of a layer of crusher stones, which were cemented unto the rock face of steps, leading up to my destination. I had another option to go an even longer route around the rock face, but that would take longer and would prevent me from reaching the classroom faster. I decided to climb up and over the rock garden directly in front of me.

I carefully started to climb the steep, large rock face steps, which consisted out of strongly cemented, protruding crusher stones, in order not to be injured by the sharp stones, which were razor sharp and could easily scratch or even cut if you would bump hard against it or slipped. At first when I saw this wall in front of me, I reasoned to myself that I will easily be able to climb up this edge, because the protruding blue crusher stones made it easier to get a good grip on the rock face, in order to climb up, what seemed only like 3 steps. As I started to climb upwards, I reached my arm over the edge of the upper step, which was about as high as my entire length. I used shear brute strength to pull my entire body up over the first step. I knew I used to be able to do it easily when I was young, but now I seemed old and not as strong as I used to be. As I pulled with all my strength to pull myself up, I became afraid, that I might fall backwards. I hesitated and became too scared to trust my own strength and could not depend on the strength of my arm to hold me up. I started to shake and fear overwhelmed me and I became cowardice. Then I decided to back down. I started to slowly retreat and climb downwards, also trying to prevent the sharp edges of the crusher stones from scratching and injuring me. I knew I could not do it. I knew that I would have to humble myself and go back and follow the normal way that everybody else always follow in order to get to the class. I had hoped that I would be able to reach the class on the 3 rd story faster than those who took the normal route.

Our recent challenges have been mounting up and I started to become overwhelmed by all the obstacles we have to still overcome and it just seemed impossible. I also realized deep within that I did not have the strength and motivation I used to have when I was a young Christian, full of zeal and enthusiasm, always ready for a challenge. I now I have a wife and two children and the responsibility that I now have, with a long extended fight to endure the hardships of choosing to do things God's way and no other way, was taking its toll on my wife and myself. I had decided to trust God and being called to full time labour to complete the work that God had given me, we have been living by faith for the last 6 years. With only my wife working, not having the normal income we would have had, if I had also worked, had put intense strain and pressure upon our relationship and also upon our finances. My son's diagnosed condition and the stress and frustration, which accompanied it, has started to make it nearly impossible to fulfil my daily routine and completing the work to which God had called me to. As a matter of fact, it was preventing me from becoming still and hearing the Voice of God, because of the consistent distractions and challenges. It was also putting more strain upon our financial situation.

But... The biggest mistake I made was to work harder in order to catch up with the work I wanted to see completed and prepared, in order to prepare and warn the world, I started to systematically reduce my personal time and relationship with my God and the Lord Yahshua. I started to minister out of the gifting of God and not out of being filled up with His love and His Spirit consistently. God is always faithful and will use whoever is available and does not need out ability or even righteousness, because the gifts and callings of God are irrevocable. I started working until late at night and became very tired and burnt out. I rushed to finish all the revelation and prophesies I kept receiving form God and kept ministering to people, who like a consistent stream, kept coming for help and for direction and discernment in their lives, but was not getting and receiving strength from God anymore. I was giving out without receiving and putting back in.

I started realizing how I became frustrated easily. My level of patience with those around me was wearing thinner and thinner and my guard was dropping. I was still doing all the right things outwardly, but inwardly I was empty and nearly dead. These things started to become like a snow ball. When you are weak Satan is like a roaring lion, looking to see whom he can devour. Then he starts to use your weaknesses, and we all have weaknesses, bringing up old struggles to strike us when we are weak and tired. That is also why the scriptures says, he waits for an opportune time. When Satan starts to break through the barriers of faith and strength, which was held in place by your relationship and revelation of God's love for us, and the price Yahshua had paid on the cross, then he will bring in attacks from every side to cut you down. Unless you know about your righteousness in Christ Jesus, Yahshua the Anointed One, and believe in the perfect sacrifice He has paid to redeem you, you will fall into the trap of guilt and condemnation, which will cast you into depression.

I became intensely depressed and could not see the way out anymore. The choice I had made to live by faith, not making the ministry to which God had called me into a business, having to sell books, DVDs or even creating a partnership inviting people to join in sowing into the ministry, had also been a very difficult, although correct choice, which cannot be continued without faith and trust and relationship with My Heavenly Father and Saviour, our Lord Yahshua the Messiah. I had chosen the difficult path.

It is always so easy for those who are in the fulltime ministry to say you must just trust in God, but on the side line they are selling books, CDs and DVDs. Getting a constant flow of finances form commitments and from partnerships. All these things seems godly, but the plain truth is, freely you have received and therefore you must freely give. We always easily say, just trust God. He will provide. Or, He would not provide where He did not lead, but that is not the full truth, even the apostle Paul, whom many claim was a rich Pharisees, wrote: 22 Are they Hebrews? so am I. Are they Israelites? so am I. Are they the seed of Abraham? so am I. 23 Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I am more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft. 24 Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. 25 Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; 26 In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; 27 In weariness and painfulness, in watchings [sleepless nights] often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. 28 Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches. (2Cor 11:22-27 KJV) Even the apostle, Yahshua's handpicked servant to proclaim the gospel to the gentiles, was often in great trials and tribulations, because of the gospel. He was even hungry at times and not always amply supplied. He was naked and cold and not always well clothed and provided for. He was even opposed, ill treated, regarded as an imposter and persecuted constantly by those who claimed to be his friends and brothers. Therefore, when called by God, it does not always ensure a constant, abundant provision from God. It is the people who love God and who hears the voice of God and who hears the command of God to sow specifically to a person or ministry, which God had called, who determines the financial supply they will get, especially if they do not sell anything to make money and especially if they are not under a large congregation's covering.

Unfortunately, many who do this claim to be trusting in God, but actually live in idolatry and trust in man and not in God. I have chosen to walk the path of trust in God and completely stopped working nearly 6 years go. This put intense strain upon the work, if you continually have to wonder where the money to pay the rent for the house you stay in will come from. It was not my lack of faith and trust in God that has so diminished that I wanted to give up, in spite of awesome spiritual experiences and revelation from God, but the toll of everything that has been mounting up consistently, also against my wife and the perceived reversed order in our house and all that accompanied it. I had subtly started to feel that God hears all my prayers and prophesies, which He had told me would come to pass for events and for other people, but we ourselves have been neglected. When Satan gets you to distrust God and his motives, you starting to believe the lies, then the battle is already lost.

I had consistently, over a period of one year, have being spending less and less time with God, being constantly distracted, especially after the birth of my son and the challenges we now have. Although my son's birth and challenges were not the reason for my neglect, the in ability to spend time with God during the day, myself now having to be a care taker at home, not being able to afford a caretaker, nor him being able to go to a normal pre-school yet, I started not to wait upon the Lord in prayer, building up my relationship with God, not having the luxury of becoming absolutely quite in His Presence anymore. Now my actual lack of spending at least 1 -2 hours early in the mornings, daily in God's Presence, waiting upon Yahshua, just allowing the Spirit of Yahshua to fill me up with His love, so that I can labour with all His energy that so powerfully was working in me, knowing that God love me, constantly being encouraged and comforted by the Spirit of Yahshua, acknowledging and submitting all my ways to Him, so that He could make my ways strait, was not there anymore.

The apostle Peter said: 5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resists [frustrates] the proud, and gives grace to the humble. 6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time : 7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour: 9 Whom resist steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. 10 But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you. (1Pet 5:5-10 KJV) I had become proud and self-sufficient, trusting in the arm of my own strength. I was deceived and though I could do what I used to do in the past, relying on past relationship with God instead of living daily on every word that comes from the mouth of God. Therefore, I became a walking target for Satan. Lions always go for the weak and the limping in the flock. They smell fear and discouragement from far off. Independence makes a young buck vulnerable and open to attack.

In conclusion: Paul spoke to the Hebrew Christians saying: 35 Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward. 36 For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. 37 For yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, and will not tarry. 38 Now the just shall live by faith : but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him. 39 But we are not of them who draw back unto perdition; but of them that believe to the saving of the soul. (Heb 10:35-39 KJV) Later Paul plainly told the Hebrews, that just like the Israelites, who became home sick and longed for the pots of Egypt and would in their hearts consistently return there, following the way they were used to, the normal way, they would get opportunity to draw back and return, as was written: 14 For they who say such things declare plainly that they seek a fatherland. 15 And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from which they came out, they might have had opportunity to have returned. 16 But now they stretch forth to a better fatherland, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them. (Heb 11:14-16 KJV) I too, was standing in front of a steep wall, like a rock face, which seems impossible to climb and overcome. I strongly started to consider thoughts of leaving the full time ministry to which I was called, returning to work in a secular employment, to earn my day's wages, instead of trusting in God my Father and my Provider.

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In Birth-pains until... but Satan knows his time is short

On the evening of Feb 27, 2014 after I had spoken to me wife about all that I had realized, both of us facing the fact that we must seriously down scale in order just to survive the next month, my wife suddenly saw a vision about me. In her vision she saw a large black spider, looking like a black widow, which was sitting on my stomach. She saw that I was pregnant. The spider, resembling a spirit of control, that was spinning a web in order to catch me in it, was sitting on my stomach, getting ready to devour the child I was about to give birth to. She also saw that as I started to return to God in prayer, returning to me first love, the spider would start to slowly leave, climbing off my stomach. This vision is also a direct warning to all those who are waiting and expecting the promises of God to be fulfilled in their lives and who expect the coming of Yahshua, as was prophesied: 1 And there appeared a great sign in the heavens, a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon was under her feet, and a crown of twelve stars on her head, 2 and having a babe in womb, she cries, being in travail, having been distressed to bear. 3 And another sign was seen in the heavens. And behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on his heads! 4 And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and cast them onto the earth. And the dragon stood before the woman being about to bear, so that when she bears he might devour her child. 5 And she bore a son, a male, who is going to rule all nations with a rod of iron. And her child was caught up to God and to His throne. (Rev 12:1 -5 KJV) Satan is not going to idly sit by, while the sons of God, the male child, having full authority and power to destroy the works of Satan, are being giving birth to, leaving without a fight. He knows that his time is short and would like the baby to abort before he is born in us.

This is also what Paul spoke of saying: 14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. 15 For you have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption by which we cry, Abba, Father! 16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are the children of God. 17 And if we are children, then we are heirs; heirs of God and joint-heirs with Christ; so that if we suffer with Him, we may also be glorified together. 18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the coming glory to be revealed in us. 19 For the earnest expectation of the creation waits for the manifestation of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was not willingly subjected to vanity, but because of Him who subjected it on hope 21 that the creation itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. 22 And we know that the whole creation groans and travails in pain together until now. 23 And not only so, but ourselves also, who have the firstfruit of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, awaiting adoption, the redemption of our body. 24 For we are saved by hope. But hope that is seen is not hope; for what anyone sees, why does he also hope for it? 25 But if we hope for that which we do not see, then we wait for it with patience. (Rom 8:14 -25 KJV) God is about to reveal His true children and sons. These sons will be like there master in every way. They will both live and be willing to suffer and die as their master did, in order to overcome the evil one. They will be given birth to and then will immediately be caught up to God. The sons of the earth and the sons of men are not like the sons of heaven and therefore the sons of God. They will not only become like Him is suffering and persecution, but also in authority and power, ruling and reign like Him and with Him and through Him, in the earth and in the heavens.

The apostle Paul wrote to the church in Galatia, saying: 18 It is always a fine thing [of course] to be zealously sought after [as you are, provided that it is] for a good purpose and done by reason of purity of heart and life, and not just when I am present with you! 19 My little children, for whom I am again suffering birth pangs until Christ is completely and permanently formed (molded) within you,...” (Gal 4:18 Ampl) This is the child I am also about to give birth to. This is the kind of authority Yahshua had intended for us, not only for us to be His servants, but also to be His friends. When this power becomes available it will be a very short time, before the earth will start to be radically delivered from her bondage to corruption and decay, for the display of authority and power, which will be demonstrated through the sons of God, will indeed make a profound impact on the whole world. Men will not be able to reject the mere words of a man, but have to refute the signs and the wonders that will accompany those who had been matured and made ready for this hour. Like an atom bomb that explodes the message will wipe away all doubts and misconceptions and will path a way to the greatest harvest the world has ever seen.

There are many things which the enemy can use against us to try and prevent the fullness of Christ to mature in us. We were created after the image of God. Yahshua, although God, became a man, to show man how to overcome this world. By following the example of Christ Jesus, we will also be able to put to death those things in us which want to prevent the forming of Christ, the Anointed One, in us. But the enemy do not only need to use yourself against yourself, but can even use those who are suppose to be your teachers and examples to reject you and to isolate you, cutting off your finances so that you would not be able to get to the world. Satan had tried all these strategies against me, because He knew that soon he would not be able to find anything in me and have any hold upon me, because I have died and the life I now live I live by faith in the Son of God. He tries to prevent those who are searching for God and who are on the verge of breaking through to make it difficult for them to find the time or have the impact they would be able to make had they found the truth. Many teach this the other way around. In self righteousness they think they have arrived and should be listen to, but those who about to truly breakthrough, constantly living in the righteousness of God, he will do anything from causing distractions so that they would be kept busy and remain deceived. In saying this I acknowledge that I am still deceived, and that I am still looking for the truth. While many, who consider themselves teachers do not live the truth and do not have the real authority of Christ, yet pride themselves that they have arrived.

Then those who think they were appointed over others, having drawn many people after them, because of their personality or even because of a gift of teaching and eloquence of speech, persecute those who truly ask questions and have great zeal for God. They who try to bring condemnation on people, accusing them of being independent, yet themselves not filled with the love of God, not truly caring with no prerequisite or condition, will persecute those who want to follow the pure untainted and undefiled truth, which could be seen in Christ Jesus' life. They accept nothing less than the same things that they were promised by Yahshua.

The fact that the male child, the sons of God, are about to be given birth to, points to the fact that the time of the coming of Yahshua is at hand, and that the harvest of the firstfruit is soon to be taken off the land, as was prophesied: 5 And she brought forth a male Child, One Who is destined to shepherd (rule) all the nations with an iron staff (scepter), and her Child was caught up to God and to His throne. [Ps. 2:8, 9; 110:1, 2.] (Rev 12:5 Ampl)

Many will disagree and say, this sign does not refer to the ‘sons of God', but to the ‘son of God' - Jesus Christ, who was taken alive up into heaven, to sit and the right-hand of the Majesty in heaven. The Yahshua Himself revealed who this male child is, say to the apostle John: 26 And he who overcomes (is victorious) and who obeys My commands to the [very] end [doing the works that please Me], I will give him authority and power over the nations; 27 And he shall rule them with a sceptre (rod) of iron, as when earthen pots are broken in pieces, and [his power over them shall be] like that which I Myself have received from My Father; [Ps. 2:8, 9.] (Rev 2:26-27 Ampl) Here Yahshua promises that those who overcome and actually live like He lived will receive the authority and power to rule the nations with an iron sceptre, just like He Himself did while He was on the earth.

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